It's difficult to admit that an opposing opinion may actually be correct. That's why you told your parents to go to Hell when you were younger. They couldn't tell you what to do One way or another, you were going to feed sedatives to your grandmother. And you did. And guess what? Now you don't have a grandmother.
Whether or not the gaming community wants to admit it, Jack Thompson is that parent. He's just your like mother: endlessly nagging about video games, demanding that Janet Reno declare her sexual preference, and writing a letter to Bruce Springsteen's manager to complain about the content of a 2 Live Crew album.
Mostly though, he's tirelessly exposing video games for their manipulation of a player's emotions. Not so much the emotions of players who are perfectly sane individuals, or those suffering from minor mental disorders. No, these are the emotions of those who are so psychologically handicapped that they've conditioned themselves to be normal in their day-to-day operations, but secretly don diapers because it minimizes the time they'll have to spend away from Warcraft to defecate Twinkies and urinate Mountain Dew.
Thomspon wants to protect those people, protect those people from games like...
4.) Grand Theft Auto
Jack Thompson maintains that video games, as he described on the Nancy Grace show, are thinly disguised "murder simulators." Tragically, this true. Furthermore, by making this claim, Thompson unintentionally reveals a frightening truth: all games are simulators. No matter what you play, you're unknowingly preparing yourself for it to eventually occur in real life.
Validation by Accurately Filling Its Definition:
It doesn't matter what game it is or its goal. They're all simulators. Since a main objective of Grand Theft Auto is murder, then Grand Theft Auto can be construed as a murder simulator. And since Barbie Horse Adventures: Riding Camp is a piece of shit, then Barbie Horse Adventures: Riding Camp becomes a shit simulator. Playing a piece simulated shit simply prepares you for all the non-simulated shit you'll take as a result of playing it.
3.) Monster Truck Jam (and Grand Theft Auto)
"Just because a game is a simulation," critics can counter, "it doesn't means it's an effective simulator. Playing Terminator 2: Judgement Day doesn't teach me to be any more of cyborg than I already am."
Thompson doesn't believe this. He once remarked, "[Video games are] dangerous physical appliances that teach a kid how to kill efficiently." Games teach. They teach you to be more of a cyborg. Don't believe it? Take his statement and replace "kill" with "be a cyborg" then replace "be a cyborg" with "drive." Now it's clear. Video games are murder/driving/cyborg simulators.
Validation of Video Game's Teaching Ability by Documented Event:
After missing his bus, and the fear of being tardy tearing him up inside, a six-year-old boy swiped the car keys from his parents, jumped in the front seat, and drove himself to school (actually, not so much "school," as "into a utility pole").
When questioned by police, the child of Jacqulyn Deana Waltman and David Eugene Dodson divulged that he had honed his automotive expertise by playing Monster Truck Jam and Grand Theft Auto.
Prior to his experience with Monster Truck Jam and Grand Theft Auto, the child knew as much about driving as he knew about murdering. And that would be none. He learned how to drive a car from playing the games. That means that since he devoted the same amount of time to firing machine guns in the game as he did to driving, he's also now learned how to professionally fire an AK-47 at a prostitute.
It's hard to place this blame on anything but Grand Theft Auto, since you're usually driving into solid objects in the game, most of the time completely by accident because you forget to look behind you when you backed your car up.
2.) Guitar Hero
In an interview on G4's Attack of the Show, Thompson stated that there was a direct causal link between interactive gameplay and... real-world increased aggression." In other words, virtual violence begets real-world violence. Something else that begets real-world violence: basing your entire life on one inconsequential, largely irrelevant video game only to find that after endlessly practicing on it your percentage of blowing its balls is still 100%.
Validation of the Link between Interactive Gameplay and Real-World Increased Aggression by Documentation of Freaking Out:
When KoTerrors choked on his 100% completion of the song, "Free Bird" on Guitar Hero, he went so crazy ape bonkers that the ensuing hissy fit prompted him to scream hysterically. Comical as that might sound, imagine if instead of his bedroom, he was at pig farm, and in lieu of screaming, he shot a gun. What would that mean? Bacon. And lots of it
1.) Super Mario Bros.
Thompson points to scientific studies that state that game environments can lead to "copycat behavior and increased violence." Increased violence and copycat behavior have been historically proven to be directly linked, since many people have found connections between the two and no one has ever claimed to find that video games lead to "copycat behavior and increased Koopa Troopas."
Validation by Prop Comedy:
Look no further for an example of copycat violence than in the wrestling promotion CHIKARA, where a spandex-clad athlete named Player Uno imitates the behavior of his favorite video game characters. He's so desensitized by hours of the simulated murdering that he's been perpetrating that he's finally prepared to actually kill.
And no, it doesn't matter if he doesn't actually kill. Just attempting to kill your grandmother made your mother mad enough. Which is why Player Uno kicking a turtle shell at his opponent to secure a victory in a rigged wrestling exhibition proves, as Thompson said in a GameCore interview in 2005, that "some video gamer is going to go Columbine at some video game exec's expense or at E3, and then the industry will begin to realize that there is no place to hide, that it has trained a nation of Manchurian Children."
Future Validation:
The evolutionary sequence of events predicts that his next offensive attack by Planet Uno will be setting his opponent on fire, which sounds foolish now, but it won't be when Manchurian Children have gone Columbine.
Drew(1 year ago)
Please dear god tell me this article is supposed to be sarcastic!
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I can't tell if this is serious or not...
Cid(1 year ago)
Umm yeah, ditto. I'm assuming it's sarcastic, for sanity's sake.
Kevin(1 year ago)
To the other comments:
You're kidding right? Of course he's being sarcastic! You really didn't get that? When he said that the kids driving ability, which was honed in video games, gave him the where-with-all to drive into a utility pole, you didn't get the sarcasm???
Cid(1 year ago)
Hey, you never know. I've read dumber things than this, with more over-the-top examples, and they really did mean it.
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Copypaste from Cracked.com
Shitty website, thats not allowed!
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Oh dear god this is quite possibly the worst website I've ever read. Seriously learn to use an elipsis properly :|.
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