6 Least Innovative Games You Love

By: Jonathan Plombon - Published: 2009-04-21

6.) Rock Band

Guitar Hero did the unthinkable. After years of fruitlessly trying to convince people to buy expensive, superfluous peripherals such as the Zapper, the Menacer, and the Power Glove, publisher RedOctane got millions of people to purchase a video game complete with a hunk of plastic for $90 dollars. Then, when RedOctane was purchased by Activision, Guitar Hero's developer Harmonix was picked up by MTV Games. And because it wasn't enough to just have Guitar Hero on the market, MTV Games put out the same exact game with Rock Band.

It was a logical step. Instead of just a guitar, Rock Band has other instruments such as drums and a microphone. While it's practically the same game with more crap hooked up to your Playstation, it's still probably better to copy a good idea and make it better than it is to conceive of a bad idea and find a way to somehow make it shittier. Being unoriginal isn't always bad. But being bad is almost always bad.

5.) Mega Man 9

By the time Mega Man 5 hit the stores, the bloom had all but fallen off the Mega Man franchise. Its innovations, such as equipping the enemy's weaponry and choosing a level, seemed worn out. Then Mega Man X erupted on the scene, and it refreshed the series until Capcom popped those suckers out until it hit Mega Man X6.

If everything old is new again, then those of us who are old enough to remember the previous installments will think that Mega Man 9 is the newest thing ever. Straight forward side-scrolling action, no HP, no experienced points, or turn-based boredom. Mega Man looks largely nondescript in his facial features, and every boss is as silly as the last. They've even purposely added that crazy flickering that drew the ire of players twenty years ago to the delight of today's players. It's like being happy to inherit your grandfather's high blood pressure.

4.) Dance Dance Revolution

To be fair, it isn't Dance Dance Revolution and its lack of innovation isn't because of its design, it's because of the number of crude rip-offs that have infiltrated the market since its debut. Go to Wal-Greens and check its toy aisle. Besides the Koosh Balls and bubble mix, there will be an a 8-bit Dance Dance Revolution copy that plays Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and whatever other public-domain tune it can fit in its self-contained system.

And isn't Dance Dance Revolution nothing but the Powerpad with a bunch of German techno music no one has ever heard of? And plus, when you think of it, isn't the Powerpad just a Stairmaster with a television set.

3.) Halo

It's not like it hadn't been done before, or that it didn't look like mostly everything before it. Halo is every first-person-shooter, but for reasons that I can't even fathom, it's the biggest game ever. Perhaps there is something more to Halo that I'm missing, some subtle nuance that completely differentiates it from every other game that looks like Wolfenstein 3D. Maybe it's just that it does everything right. A game about a flying burrito urinating streams of cookie crumbs on nuns would also be innovative, but if it controlled like crap it wouldn't be much fun. I guess it's the little things that matter.

2.) Madden

Simply update the roster of a video game franchise then release it to an unsuspecting public year after year for $49.99. It's be almost criminal if the public wasn't aware of it. Madden ships every twelve months, and people rush to purchase it, skip work and ignore every obligation. Then eleven months later they sell it to GameStop for $2.99. That's why Madden '01 and a quarter will now get you a bag a chips.

It's the problem with all sport franchises. Either release the same game with updated rosters each year or change the format and risk alienating the audience. It's been an issue since EA's 16-bit days when it pumped out its NHL series. Until you add machine guns or chainsaws it'll be the same experience. However, we love it anyway, and if suddenly Madden concluded, we'd riot.

Madden is noteworthy because EA has sole use of the NFL images and players. Nowadays it's horrendous to think that a football game would be made without actual players, but twenty years ago we loved John Elway's Quarterback, and not only did that not have any actual players, it didn't have any real teams. That was back when a football game couldn't be updated and then pawned off to us suckers the next. That's because if it did, it'd probably be updated from Generic White Guy to Other Generic White Guy.

1.) Smackdown vs. RAW

Wrestling games were a varied bunch ten years ago. With a few major promotions to license from, companies could turn out several forms of the same concept, resulting in the ass-sucking WCW Backstage Assault to the ass-awful ECW Hardcore Revolution to the ass-awesome WWE(F) Smackdown. The only game to have survived is WWE Smackdown, which is repeatedly updated every year with new characters and some new form of sustaining damage.

The series originally had subtitles such as Smackdown: Here Comes the Pain or Smackdown: Just Bring It. Eventually that became too much of a distractions and WWE Smackdown became Smackdown vs. RAW followed by a year. But as different as that number is, it can't change the fact that each edition has the same unlockables, legends, and Triple H.

Then again, we all know what happens when developers decide to get creative with wrestling titles. Whether it be WCW Backstage Assault or Backyard Wrestling, adding over-the-top violence never pans out. Innovation can lead to genius, but it can also lead to WCW Backstage Assault. Maybe Triple H isn't so bad after all.

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User Comments (7)

Jason(7 months ago)

You know, looking at this list...most of these games are also the most "sequel-happy" games off all time, too. There are waaay to many MEGA MAN, DDR, MADDEN games...and HALO/ROCK BAND are each about to "jump the shark" with the sequels.

Lesson: Innovation does not equal profits.

Another good list in this vein would be innovative/influential games that sold poorly (ZAK AND WIKI, BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL, etc).

MildlyAmused(7 months ago)

I call shenanigans! That article cover was totally for Deja Vu on NES, which I expected to lampooned comically.

But I suppose I'll settle for misdirection and truthiness about Halo...this time.

SP420(7 months ago)

"It's like being happy to inherit your grandfather's high blood pressure."

Fucking genius writing. Madden should be one though. It's easily the most popular on the list, and your reasons for Smackdown vs. Raw aren't as good as Madden's.

Commander Riker(7 months ago)

Well done genius, for posting a picture of the cover of the only Halo game that isn't an FPS.

UsirFAIL(7 months ago)

A good article but I think you fail with the Halo 'cause you used the HALO WARS pic. I can understand that the 1,2,3 three are like every FPS but u should change the pic really...

Dirk(7 months ago)

As I recall Halo was one of the 1st First Person Shooters to limit your weapons and not make it seem like a joke. Haven't played any of the other games. By the way, why does your Halo entry have the Halo Wars box art on it?

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