Sometimes it can appear that there are no girls on the internet or on any video games. But 38% of the gaming populace is female and we'd like to take a moment to talk about why Gaming Girls rock. But don't worry, we're up to the task of being complimentary while adding as much sexual innuendo as possible.
#7 They're easy to approach
"Uh, hi, uh, nice, um, shit. Dammit, I mean shirt."
With a guy you've never met, you can walk up, say "Sup, man" and become life long friends. Going up to a girl to talk for the first time can be a task more panic inducing than having the power go out 5 seconds before you were going to save.
But if you know a girl that plays on the same realm as you do then a simple "Hey have you made a Death Knight?" could just be the start to a good friendship that may eventually lead to some raiding.
#6 Their self esteem is high(er)
As we mentioned in another article, playing games can teach you how to deal with obnoxious people. Gamer Girls can take that skill and amp it up even more by being able to throw back taunts like "you just got beaten by a girl." And anyone who's beaten a game on expert knows the euphoria that follows the final cutscene and credits. Just be in the same room with a Gamer Girl as she wins and you might find that you're a winner too. *
*We're either talking about how you will learn how to beat the final boss from her or the fact that in her excited state she will have sex with you without even being drunk.
#5 You'll know them better than some of their other friends
Three to four hours spent raiding or courting headshots can be fun but many times it can be tedious. In those long periods of nothing spectacular happening, people usually start talking about stuff. This is no different with girls, except that a group of guys will probably not be talking about their feelings.
If you do a lot of online play with a Gamer Girl you'll soon start learning many things, some which can be helpful the next time you're looking for a date and other things that you could probably do without.
In the end you'll have accumulated a vast knowledge of the feminine mind. But despite that information you will still never be able to understand why they like the Jonas Brothers.
#4 They're Tech Savvy
If you play games for a while there's bound to be times when stuff just stops working for no reason. Gaming girls, just like guys, learn to search for fixes, updates and where the best spot to kick your console into working again is located.
And as many of us guys are clueless we can learn that if they ever call us to come over and fix something, despite them knowing more than we do, we might just stumble our way into a great one on one match to see who comes out on top.*
*In case that wasn't obvious enough, we're talking about sex AND gaming with this one.
#3 They Don't Mind If You Play Video Games
It seems like the simplest thing, you like video games and thus you play video games. To another guy this will make sense. To a girl, this might sound like an addiction. "How can you not want to spend time with me your girlfriend/platonic friend" they might say.
It's not that we don't want to spend time, we actually like doing that. It just so happens that we are on level 45 of a side scroller that uses passwords to save and our last pen ran out of ink and pausing the game for one second could completely destroy our momentum.
Gamer Girls get this. They understand that there are some times when you just gotta play. Once it's over you'll be there, they know that. They might even watch you play and try to help you out which can sometimes be helpful and sometimes hurtful. They might break out the PSP or DS and play a game of their own while they wait for you to finish.
Regular girls might snap and pull the plug on your computer and quite possibly on the life support system you'll need after a ten inch stiletto heel spikes you in the gut.
#2 They're equally as attractive as non gaming girls
Looks aren't everything, right? Right?
Gaming girls come in all shapes and sizes, unlike male gamers who tend to come in extremely skinny or really, really big boned. Gamer Girls can be cute, hot, sexy or average.
At least until the costumes go on.
It's a Gamer Girl Sandwich
If you go to a gaming convention dressed as your favorite character, chances are that the suit has some "adjustments" to accomodate the difference between your online avatar and reality.
Gamer Girls however, can do a pretty damn good recreation of their avatar, right down to the bright red breastplate, done to scale and with the correct amount of encrusted diamonds and gold lining.
#1 They Understand you
Male and female brains are wired differently. Females are more likely to like the color pink and guys are more likely to laugh at someone getting hit in the crotch by a ball.* A common interest in video games allows the male and female brains to cross the gap into understanding each other better. Gamer Girls know the pain of a weapon being retooled into a piece of crap and the joy of finding an exploit before anyone else.
And other than serving in the military during war times, games can forge a bond of friendship that you might not share with any other woman. Going through a six hour raid and sacrificing health and loot to save one another is something that Brazilian underwear model will never understand.
They also know how to handle a joystick.
* Footballs are the most comical balls to be hit with. They've done studies on this.
sarcaztyx(6 months ago)
Hahahaha great article, very funny.
meow(6 months ago)
only if there are more of those.. :[
RayeD_X(6 months ago)
b1tches
darthLegion(6 months ago)
g-g-g-girls! and what is this 'sex' you speak of?
Jon Jo(6 months ago)
Topic is a lie, at the end of the day Women are still from Venus
(_ary(6 months ago)
nice article. girl gamers are just as fun as male gamers, if not MORE:)
sNsKid(6 months ago)
Who thought is was a good idea to use Ava Knight's picture?
@geekgirls(6 months ago)
WORD!
Sanzee(6 months ago)
It's more than obvious that you've never had a girlfriend before, buddy. I admire your courage for trying to state the sexy qualities of a girl gamer, but man the fact that you selected some of the qualities that you did, tells me that you've never been laid or had vag in your life. Just like most of the kids reading this. #4 is about the only descent one on the list, everything should have already came with the bitch.
360 Fanboys are usually college frat boys, so I'm happy to say that we get more ass by far.
James(6 months ago)
This article is funny until you realize it was either written for or by 14 year olds who still fit into the stereotype of socially retarded gamer.
Hereaux (Hiro)(6 months ago)
yes yes yes... gamer girls are friggin' awesome, i find it unfortunate that i have never been out with a gamer girl. instead i go out with the stuck-up high maintanance hottie... ok so the hottie part is cool. but i always say in the back of my mind when we start arguing about why guys play games "why are you not a gamer girl, so you can understand me." it's funny because a female not understanding why guys play games is the cause of 90% of my break-up...
Kristianna(6 months ago)
This article holds pretty accurate. If for some reason a few of you think we don't exist check out my gamer girl site I share with three other girls...
http://thoughtsfromagamer.wordpress.com
Cheers =]
Jenivere(6 months ago)
I hate pink and love nothing more than laughing at guys being hit in the crotch with comical objects. Hah.
I'm actually disappointed when in the pub talking to male friends, and slip in some awesomely hilarious gaming reference and receive nothing but blank looks! Gamers of all kinds should probably stick together, we share a mindset not matched by those oddities that don't play.
PS - all talk of feeling is banned when gaming, unless that feeling is "hah I'm amused I just pwned your sorry ass" or "you just pwned me, I'm angry and want vengeance."
Also - nothing beats a one on one hardcore deathmatch in a small space - of course, I'm talking about playing Call of Duty 4 on the Shipment map with the HUD turned off.
Jenivere(6 months ago)
PPS - having been in a relationship with a gaming guy, there are downsides! You have to learn this thing called "sharing consoles" and 2 player too often only ends in tears.
Advice to gamers dating gamers - never buy consoles as a joint investment...I now have to re-buy 18 consoles, over 200games, and a tv. Breakups are so much more difficult when custody is involved. Visitation doesn't work with electronics.
Lacarious(6 months ago)
Quality 1 - Female Voice
Quality 2 - Boobies
Quality 3 - Booty
Quality 4 - BJ Ability
Quality 5 - Punani
Quality 6 - Multiple Orgasms
Quality 7 - Cooking
PC Games(6 months ago)
I wouldn't like to have a gamer girl friend.
She would play video games rather to kiss or whatever else.
Samantha(6 months ago)
But they also seem to get pushed into the background...*cries*. Ah well, I'll live.
It's such a bugger that you see things like this which describe you completely and people are always wishing for but you never get noticed. Sigh...
MildlyAmused(5 months ago)
Don't worry. Even having two X chromosomes doesn't explain to me the horror that is The Jonas Bros.
Apokalyptika(5 months ago)
I always hear guys complaining that they can't find a gamer girl, but when one presents herself, if she's not supermodel fuck hot, she's not even noticed.
Personally I think that's fucked. Like any of those perfect looking girls even know what end of the controller is the working end.
But then again, I do have my share of gamer guys chasing me....
Oh,and I actually despise pink and the thought of someone getting whacked in the nuts is hilariously awesome....
KaeleaMajere(5 months ago)
I'm a girl who dates a non-gaming guy and can kind of understand where the guys are coming from here. Except rather than unplug my computer he snatches my DS, and walks my characters off the edges of cliffs until they die (while laughing with childlike amusement the entire time). Somehow he remains oblivious to the mixed expression of anger and dismay upon my face. Needless to say I've learned to save the moment I see him coming -_-
Eklouve(5 months ago)
" It's more than obvious that you've never had a girlfriend before, buddy. I admire your courage for trying to state the sexy qualities of a girl gamer, but man the fact that you selected some of the qualities that you did, tells me that you've never been laid or had vag in your life. Just like most of the kids reading this. #4 is about the only descent one on the list, everything should have already came with the bitch.
360 Fanboys are usually college frat boys, so I'm happy to say that we get more ass by far. "
Well, it's obvious that you know allmost nothing about 'gamer girls'. and 360 fanboys are usually collage frat boys? sorry, but that is incorrect. But it would be possible that most people you meet IRL and in game are collage frat boys that are '360 fanboys' as you call it.
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Camryn(3 months ago)
I can't help but feel that most of the "gamer girls" who posted on this are online sluts. Just because you have a vagina, doesn't make you special. (I'm talking about all the females who go well out of their way to let everyone in Trade chat know they have bewbies.) Instead of blathering on about your chromosomes, why not go out and own like a true gamer? You embarrass the rest of the female population. Truly. Now stfu.
Riskybiscuit(2 months ago)
While I can read this knowing that it's a comedy site, it still gets me that people insist on reinforcing this massive gender divide, even in the name of humour, because some asshats are still going to go "Yeah, you know what? Girls ARE waaay different", which most of the time just isn't the case.
My girlfriend kicks my ass at fighting games, and I kick hers at racing. We both play RPGs. I know a lot of other gaming couples, gay and straight, that are frankly just sick of the men/women game seperatism.
Also, if your fact is that 38% of gamers are women, who do you think is making up 38% of your readership? You could at least pretend like you're not just writing these articles for the boys club males of the gaming world.
doug m(2 months ago)
the problem is that these girls don't exist in the real world
ben(2 months ago)
i laughed when u said guys are more likely to laugh at somebody gettin hit in the crotch with a ball.
Vochilleot(2 months ago)
"They also know how to handle a joystick."
the way ive seen people handle joysticks.. they are always mashing the top at rapid speeds and twisting it violently.. if that was supposed to be an innuendo, think about how painful that would be
TehGamer(2 months ago)
Amen to that! Gamer girls are the way to go for the gaming guy (there's a lot of us though.. lol).
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