Want to create a Street Fighter character? Don’t worry it’s easy! Take the first offensive ethnic stereotype that comes to mind then draw a cartoon representation of that stereotype with funny looking hair. Congratulations, you’re done! For bonus points give the character the ability to throw some sort fireball, or in the case of female characters, thighs beefy enough to crush a beer keg.
Despite having this simple winning formula in place there are plenty of Street Fighter characters deserving of a swift Shoryu-ken into the scrap heap. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that Capcom has (in a feat that continues to baffle top mathematicians and theoretical physicists) published more than 25 separate Street Fighter games between the release of the original Street Fighter II and the upcoming Street Fighter IV . What happens when you have to fill out character rosters for 25+ fighting games? Well stuff like…
10) Rufus
First Appearance: Street Fighter IV
Since we haven’t been able to actually play as the character yet so we’ll take it easy on Rufus and not rank him too high on this list of shame, but seriously, look at that monstrosity. Rufus is what a 12-year old (or Gameist writer) would make if Street Fighter IV had a create-a-fighter mode.
Yup, he's carries a bucket of popcorn. Because he's fat. Very subtle Capcom.
Oh and by the way, according to Capcom’s bio of the character, Rufus is on a quest is to become “America’s Greatest Fighter”. So yes, the character is essentially a screw-you caricature of the stereotypical fat obnoxious American courtesy of your friends in Japan. Street Fighter IV , now with 100% more condescension!
9) Skullomania
"Oh shit! I dropped my Unicef box!"
First Appearance: Street Fighter EX
Skullomania is a vigilante who dresses like a skeleton in order to bust crime. In theory that sounds like the description of the greatest Street Fighter character of all time , but well, clearly that’s not the case. Probably has something to do with the fact that he looks like he’s on his way to his 3rd grade Halloween party in a costume his mother pieced together with felt and glue.
8) Cycloid Beta & Gamma
Try not to think of what their hands are up to below frame.
First Appearance: Street Fighter EX
Cycloid Beta and Gamma, aka “Jesus Christ, I thought the deadline for the new character art was next week! Quick, get me a blue and red pen!”
7) Necro
First Appearance: Street Fighter III
At first we weren’t quite sure if Necro was a work of mad genius or just really stupid. The deciding factor was when we noticed some brave child had apparently broken out the finger-paints on his face and arms. Nothing says menacing like happy orange suns.
Brought together through their love of giant boots.
Also, Necro has a girlfriend. A girlfriend who looks to be about 10 years old. It should be noted that, for the most part, we never see the wives or girlfriends of any of the other male characters. For some reasons the creators of Street Fighter decided the only character allowed to get any would be the one that looks like the dude from “Powder” crossed with Quasimodo dressed in gay fetish gear. Go figure.
6) Rainbow Mika
First Appearance: Street Fighter Alpha 3
Here’s a fun game; get a pen and piece of paper and write down all the fetishes those crafty Street Fighter folks managed to incorporate into this character. We bet you run out of paper or ink before you get to the bottom of this well of perversion. But hey, we’ll quit talking and let you get to what you really want to see. BRING ON THE THIGH PORN!
Those thighs have more meat than a Rocky training montage.
5) Yun
First Appearance: Street Fighter III
There’s a good reason most Street Fighter characters exist in a world outside of current trends and modern fashions, and that good reason is Yun. A transparent attempt to create a “cool” character, it’s hard to decide what’s most rad to the max about Yun. The braided rat-tail? The MC Hammer pants? The skateboard drawn by someone who’s never actually seen a real skateboard? The armless crotch-bib thing? Apparently Capcom was pretty pleased with Yun though because he also has a twin brother, Yang, who looks just like him except his crotch-bib is pink. Extreme.
4) Vulcano Rosso
First Appearance: Street Fighter EX2 Plus
Does this guy really need that many zippers on his suit? What situation could you possibly be in that requires you to remove only the part of your pant leg below the knee, yet above the ankle? Also he seems to have dog collars hanging off his nipples for no fathomable reason. Also also he appears to be wearing some sort of turtleneck, which matches the color and pattern of the fabric covering his junk. So what, is he wearing a puffy woolen bodysuit underneath his zipper covered outfit (which for some reason doesn’t cover his crotch)? That’s gotta itch. Also also also …oh Christ, we give up.
We didn't even touch on the hair.
3) Area
First Appearance: Street Fighter EX2 Plus
Giant-thighed goddesses are fine and all, but apparently Capcom decided the Street Fighter fanboys required more attainable wank material. The result was Area, a character that looks like she would be more at home on an episode of Care Bears being taught the power of believing in herself, not battling Zangief. If we designed games we’d make every fight featuring Area end after a single punch from her opponent shatters her big stupid 80s glasses.
2) Gill
I know you're evil and all man, but put on some pants.
First Appearance: Street Fighter III
Apparently at some point the team making Street Fighter III was under the mistaken impression they were making a Cho Aniki sequel. Oh and yes, for those with a burning desire to know, that is a thong. Gill would be embarrassing enough if he were merely a minor character, but he’s actually the main villain of the Street Fighter III games, which is downright pathetic when you measure him against the likes of M. Bison or Akuma. This dude he may be a threat to you sexuality, but that’s about it.
1) Birdie
First Appearance: Street Fighter
To be honest we’re not exactly sure what’s going on here. We think that thing with the big slice of Swiss cheese coming off it is supposed to be this guy’s head, but we’re not 100% certain. We’re pretty sure the long things near the bottom are his legs, but we have no idea why this “British punk rocker” is wearing pointed genie boots. Maybe looking at a different picture will clarify things.
Is that an old banana peel stuck to the side of his face?
Well now this just raises more questions. It seems the thing attached to the Swiss cheese is his head, but what the hell’s wrong with it? Does he suffer from some sort of Gary Coleman-like disorder than affects only your skull, leaving you with a baby head for life? Is he the result of an insidious scientific experiment to test whether you can attach the head of a pug to a human body? Why is there a heart on the side of his head? Why is there a tomato hanging from his ear? WHY CAPCOM, WHY?! You could jab at a piece of paper with a Sharpie while blindfolded for a couple minutes and come up with a character that makes as much sense as this.
So there you have it, the worst of the greatest fighting series ever. We’ll see you online come February 17th when Street Fighter IV finally hits (and totally beat your asses with Fei-Long).
Matt59(9 months ago)
I agree with necro, skul, area, rossol & rufus, but the others all have explanations for their retarded appearances. The most common one between them is that its a fighting game & the characters must be interesting, at all costs. Even if that cost is making older SF fans sigh & younger ones cream their pants & say "WOW THEY LOOK SO KEWL"
Ben Dennison(9 months ago)
I remember the first time I played Street Fighter EX Plus Alpha I though Skullomania was absolutely rad but I never knew his origins. Now that I know he's essentially a trick-or-treater turned vigilante I stand by my earlier assessment.
burning_phoneix(9 months ago)
Didn't we get to see Ken's wife though in a couple of games (this is concerning the Necro character description)
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Haha! I always thought Birdie was a douche.
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I always liked Birdie too, come to think of it. I'm starting to think I judge how awesome street fighters are by how questionable they look.
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John(8 months ago)
Your list was spot on for the most part but including mika on this list was a screw up, then it became right after that.
Joeyroo(8 months ago)
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Hello Moto(8 months ago)
this is exactly what I thought when I played the game.
So yes, the character is essentially a screw-you caricature of the stereotypical fat obnoxious American courtesy of your friends in Japan.
Anyone read that SOA\SOJ article?
http://gamerlimit.com/2009/03/untold-stories-pt-1-the-decline-of-sega-the-mega-mistakes/
pay attention to how SOJ works with SOA
Kent(8 months ago)
Most of what you described for Yun is traditional wear. You might as well have said, "Now they have some new spy hero named James Bond who wears a tuxedo, drives blinged cars, and carries nerdy gadgets in some misguided attempt to streetwise. Sometimes he even wears his tie in the shape of a bow just to be a rebel. The creators obviously tried too hard to be like xXx."
In fact half this list is horrible. If it weren't for Rufus and most EX characters, I'd have thought it was a parody. Instead the author's too out of touch to realize Skullomania's comically cheap look is his entire point. It's not like Capcom is known for depth or subtlety; you have to be pretty dense for it to go over your head.
...Now I feel awful for defending Capcom characters. Oh, god, what is wrong with these online lists?
Ben Dennison(8 months ago)
^^^
Yeah, it's like this is a comedy website or something. Where do these people get off, not taking Street Fighter seriously?
Kent(8 months ago)
You're one of those poeple who defend Meet the Spartans, aren't you? "All these people who hate it just don't get it-- it's a COMEDY!!"
you suck(8 months ago)
wow is all i have to say. wow
you dont give any reasons for anything except to make stupid fashion trends statements.
next time you want to do write something intelligent, leave it for the next writer. clearly intelligence is something you lack.
Ben Dennison(8 months ago)
Kent, I don't consider Meet the Spartans funny but only because those characters all wear traditional Spartan wear and are thus to be taken super seriously.
Malcolm Christiansen(8 months ago)
Up yours, Nathan Birch! How DARE you make light of the game where the fat guy with the ponytail hits the black guy with the Swiss-cheese mohawk!
Rimpala(8 months ago)
Rufus huh?... just what...is that thing?!
Does he have shaved pubic hair as part of his costume? O.o
Kyle(8 months ago)
I agree, however, all of street fighter characters are throw outs of pure shit. Their character generation makes Mortal Kombat look like some Vatican ceiling art work and perception.
Street Fighter needs to die. It was sweet in 1992 and shit, wanna know why? Because most of us were 6-8 years old.
Time to put on some pants with proper belts.
Justin Bailey(8 months ago)
Wow. I can't believe that Yun (one of the best characters in the Street Fighter series) made the list. More over I can't believe that the only thing that you could find to make fun of him was his traditional Chinese outfit (granted it's been given the Japanese makeover).
With the EXception of the EX characters this list is pretty useless. Fighting games are about ridiculous over the top and outlandish attacks and even more ridiculous fighters. Why one would even bother to come up with this puzzles me. Must be nice getting paid to state the obvious.
Dartayne(6 months ago)
Rufus's girlfriend also appears on SFIV. and, well she looks like she has a normal age.
harboringanomalies(3 months ago)
Eh, the rest are oft ridiculed scrappies, but Area doesn't deserve the list in my opinion. Her outfit can be explained in the fact that she is a young teenage girl in a high tech battlesuit. Not to mention, she is pretty in a far more realistic way than most of the other women are. Goddamn nerd girl haters... I think her and Skullomania (who is a gymnast in a skeleton costume, whats wrong with that badass?) are the only good characters to come out of EX. Don't even dare mention Kairi, he is a mary sue piece of crap.
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