Sure, you may tend to stay in playing video games instead of going out drinking. And that makes sense because it's cheaper, less messy, and easier to wake up the next morning and start over again without a hangover. But sometimes you want to go drinking even if you refuse to leave your video games behind. Well, we suggest you take them with you. Here are the half-dozen video game characters that would make the best drinking buddies:

Morte

"We should get some female zombies to join our party, right chief?"

Morte from Planescape Torment is, simply, the funniest character you will ever meet. He has wisecracks for almost every situation, and unlike many of video gaming's annoying hyperactive unfunny sidekicks (we're looking at you, Daxter), Morte is a bonafide wit, popping off lines like "Women were the reason I became a monk - and, ah, the reason I switched back...".

Ah, the ladies. Morte is totally the guy you want next to you at the bar when you're chatting up the girls. When confronted with a good-looking woman, Morte will alternately refer to himself as "The Head of Vecna" and "Le Petit Morte". Not to mention the fact that he is just a floating, talking skull. You know that watching a floating skull try to drink alcohol is going to be hilarious. Morte is clearly the best possible drinking buddy, er, bar-none.

Conker

"I'll have a fuzzy navel. Even though I've already got one. *hic*"

Conker is a raging alcoholic, which means that Conker's Bad Fur Day is probably a reasonable description of at least half of the days that he's been alive. But the point is, Conker is a squirrel who really enjoys his alcohol, probably more than any other video game character. In a world where so few video game characters drink, and even the "beer" power-ups in some games are replaced with milk, it's nice to hang out with a squirrel who unabashedly proclaims his love for the real deal.

Best of all, Conker has already proven in the game that he will gladly lie to his girl in order to go out drinking with the guys. Also, Conker is a hell of an entertaining drunk. He not only slurs his words in a British accent and wobbles around, he likes to urinate on gnomes and imps before getting blurry vision, vomiting, and blacking out.

Auron

"Death for you, more sake for me!"

Auron from Final Fantasy X is perhaps not an obvious choice for a drinking buddy. He's not, generally speaking, what would be referred to as "fun-loving". He doesn't laugh and smile a whole lot, or really ever, and some people have accused him of "not having a personality", although we feel this is a bit harsh, and probably just the whiny ravings of all those angsty teenagers who wear their emotions on their sleeves when faced with a 35-year old who doesn't shout and giggle a lot.

Anyway, the key thing to remember here is that part of a good drinking buddy is good drinking, and Auron has totally got your back. He carries around a ginormous jug of sake everywhere he goes, which means that if you get to the party and some idiot forgot to buy the alcohol, you and Auron are still going to have plenty of hooch to last you the whole night.

Vodka Drunkenski (aka Soda Popinski)

In Soviet Russia, old joke makes YOU.

Ah, poor Soda Popinski. Formerly Vodka Drunkenski, his doctors (AKA Nintendo's American censorship board) told him that he couldn't drink so much, so he toned it down and became Vodka Popinski instead. Then they told him that he couldn't drink at all, and he changed his name once again to Soda Popinski in time for Mike Tyson's Punch-Out on the NES. But the truth is, he's a large Russian man who loves his Vodka, and name change or not, he wants to go out drinking with you.

And this is a good thing, because who better to sit by your side at a bar than a large Russian man? If you've never been drinking with a large Russian who can down vodka faster than you can drink soda, you are missing out.

Rincewind

"...and the hedgehog can never be buggered at all..."

Rincewind from the Discworld games is the perfect chap to take down to the pub with you. He's always wanting to go down pub because he's extremely British, and because it's the only place people are so drunk that they won't laugh at his robes. But you should take him up on his suggestion, because a drunk wizard is a fun wizard. Nothing's better than getting a master of the arcane arts completely sozzled, and watching him turn random objects into fish.

Also, his voice sounds suspiciously like Eric Idle's, and you *know* you've always wanted to go drinking with Eric Idle.

Sam and Max

Bosco's: Get your drunk on, and buy supplies for the consequences.

We know, we know, this is two people instead of one. Well, the list is called the top 6 video game drinking buddies, and this is the last open slot we had. Anyone who has played Sam and Max Hit the Road is familiar with this canine gumshoe and his loveable destructive lagomorph pal. This dynamic duo has everything you want in some drinking companions: A no-nonsense dick who can knock back whiskeys like Marlowe, and a zany sidekick with an aggressive streak the side of Montana.


Of course, there are cheaper ways to entertain yourself than to go out drinking. But if you must go out drinking, please take these people with you. You'll be glad you did.

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